Friday, March 27, 2015

Michelle Obama did a little guest appearance on Jeopardy yesterday to continue pushing her "eat some vegetables for gods' sake or we're all literally going to die" initiative on the masses. And, in true American form, we found a way to completely ignore any talk of the obesity epidemic in favor of something that really matters. Obviously, I'm talking about the fact that she looked bald.
Is she actually bald? No. Does that matter?



NO. We have a perfect storm here. A perfect storm of 1) her hair being slicked back, 2) the Jeopardy lighting guy phoning it in because the show's target demographic lost their eyesight a decade ago when they turned 70, and 3) us needing something to distract us from all her ~blood pressure~ talk so we can go on eating pizza rolls in peace.